I’m not sure what to make of God sometimes. When I think I have Him kind of figured out, He shows me another side that I don’t understand. For example, I’ve been reading in some of the Psalms today (7, 27, 31, 34, and 52). They are songs David wrote about struggling with King Saul when the King was trying to kill him. David is on the run, and has to leave everything and live in the woods and desert.
David prays that God will judge him if he is in the wrong, but he also prays that God will judge Saul if Saul is wrong. King Saul has decided to ignore God and is living and ruling in his own way instead of God’s way, even though it was God who made him king. David can’t stand it. So he prays that God will judge Saul harshly, even with death, for how he is living.
What gets me is it’s in the Bible, and in the story, God does just this thing. Saul is judged for his actions, and dies. David becomes king. God blesses him. He prays for his enemy to be judged, for God to hold him very accountable, for him to die. What? What about grace? What about love your neighbor as yourself?
I think that is the key. David does show love to Saul. He himself will not kill Saul, even though he has several chances to do it. It would have even been “legal” since he had been appointed the new king. But he doesn’t. He begs God to do it, so that he can be sure it’s just. He wants justice, but David is willing to wait on God’s justice. Not the other side of death/heaven/hell justice. Justice here, in this lifetime, on earth. He begs God to act. But until God does act, David shows mercy and grace, even though he doesn’t feel it personally. He obeys from faith rather than feelings.
That’s the part I don’t understand. That’s the disconnect. I’m willing to obey as long as I feel peace about it, as long as it’s the logical decision. David obeys in spite of his personal feelings, in spite of what he sees in front of him, in spite of what is expected of him, in spite of what everyone else is telling him to do. He trusts God at a level that I really want to get to.
What about you? What is it that God is calling you to trust Him on? Who in your life needs justice, and you are waiting on God to act? Will you trust Him?
He’s worth it.