Okay, I admit it. I have trouble slowing down when I’m sick. I’ve been feeling under the weather for the past five days. It always goes away on it’s own. Always. Sometimes. But I’m starting to wonder if it’s going to this time. I may have to do the one thing I have such a hard time doing…go to the doctor.
Why does this bother me so? Because I’m the fixer. I mean, my name, according to all of those cheesy Christian store bookmarks and coasters, means “Healing One”. I fix everyone else. I don’t need fixed. Oh, I know, this sounds ridiculous. But it’s there, under the service. It’s not an idea that I am regularly aware of, but it is definitely a value that drives me. I encourage others to get help when they need it, but I rarely take that advice. I’m a complete hypocrite in this area.
Isn’t self revelation tough?
So, what am I to do? I’ll go to the doctor in the morning, for one thing. I’d go today, but I have to teach my class at Taylor. (How do you like that justification?) But I need to do more than this. I mean I have spiritual sickness and emotional sickness as well as my physical ailments. I’ve got to return to trusting my friends and letting them into my soul and life.
When? It’s easier to write it than to do it.
I honestly don’t know. Unfortunately, it won’t be today. I am legitimately too busy.
Wow. More than an excuse, I have ordered my life poorly, in such a way that I really have boxed myself in. It will take a while to rework this. But I must. God’s been pushing me on it for a while, so I need to keep moving towards this.
He is faithful. I just need to follow. I can do that.