Running from God always means running to something else, and it’s always destructive.  When we run from God, whether it’s a full on sprint in the wrong direction, or a long, slow mosey quietly sliding away from the One who creates us, we inevitably end up in the same low place.  Every time.  And yet, we will do it over and over and over and…

I’ve been dealing with this in my life the last few weeks.  I’m avoiding Jesus, and feel my world shrinking, my heart cooling off, my edges becoming more jagged.  I hate it.  I got on my knees to pray today, mainly because I promised myself I would every Monday at least, and finally poured much of it out to Him.  He just listened, like He always does.  Then He sent me to Psalm 62.  Here’s what it says:

1 I wait quietly before God, for my victory comes from him.
2 He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will never be shaken.
3 So many enemies against one man—all of them trying to kill me.  To them I’m just a broken-down wall or a tottering fence.
4 They plan to topple me from my high position.  They delight in telling lies about me.  They praise me to my face but curse me in their hearts.
5 Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him.
6 He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken.
7 My victory and honor come from God alone.  He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me.
8 O my people, trust in him at all times.  Pour out your heart to him, for God is our refuge.
9 Common people are as worthless as a puff of wind, and the powerful are not what they appear to be.  If you weigh them on the scales, together they are lighter than a breath of air.
10 Don’t make your living by extortion or put your hope in stealing.  And if your wealth increases, don’t make it the center of your life.
11 God has spoken plainly, and I have heard it many times:  
          Power, O God, belongs to you;
          12 unfailing love, O Lord, is yours.
          Surely you repay all people according to what they have done.
I don’t know how God will save me from the dark spot I’ve crafted for myself, or what it will take.  But I know that He can save me, I know He wants to save me, and I know that I can’t save myself.  In just that knowledge, I can take a deep breath, and be free.  So, today, my prayer for myself, and for you, is that all that is in us will wait quietly before God, that you and I will trust Him at all times, and that today we will pour out our hearts to the One who is our refuge.