We’ve Moved Past Heartbreak Hotel


Spent some time this morning with my girls. We were on our way to Nana’s and had some car time in the Trooper to talk through some stuff. They wanted to know about dating. I was game, and we had a great discussion.

I shared with the girls a little about how the way we have dating set up is so dangerous to our souls. It destroys us with shadows of hope and chasms of pain. Here’s what I mean. We have designed a system that tells kids to be in a marriage without a promise of commitment. They are to give each other sole devotion, separate from the friends and family to a degree, and pour into each other. But when they get bored, or a better deal comes along, then they are free to move on to another person simply by passing a note or email or text which says they want to break up. It’s a shadow of a hope of being loved. It never really materializes. It’s a phantom.

But the pain that follows is all too real. It destroys hearts and souls. This doesn’t even count in the effects of sex on kids. That’s a whole other world of discussion. I promise you, almost everyone underestimates the destruction sex wrecks on middle school and high school students.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not a Josh Harris “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” so let’s only do courtship kind of guy. I think it’s a good idea for guys and girls to hang out and be friends. It’s the pseudo marriage we’ve designed that I’m against. Is it any wonder when adults get married, they treat it like dating? “I’ve found someone better, so here’s my lawyers note, let’s break up”?

I think we can do better. Yeah, it means being counter cultural. But the church is going to have to accept that fact. We have to design and carry out better options. Not in a cultural warfare way, but in a sense of we are attached to the Wisdom of the universe. Let’s use that Wisdom in Christ to come up with better, more fulfilling plans.

Just a thought.

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