Category Archives: youth ministry

“Step It Up” is More Than a Bad Movie

Step-It-Up-Main-Logo

Recently, I was having a discussion with one of our very best volunteer leaders.  They were sharing, reluctantly, how they were frustrated with some other leaders.  This wonderful person was struggling with the fact that they didn’t see the commitment in a few other leaders that needed to be there, and it was bothering them.  She felt like she must be in the wrong, that she was being judgmental, and didn’t even want to bring it up to me.  It actually turned out to be a great conversation, and one that is going to lead to many more.

Earlier in my ministry, I would have totally missed what was going on.  I would have seen her as complaining, and counseled her to go work this out between her and them, and basically dropped it.  Fortunately, God was kind enough to clue me in to a little more during this conversation, and didn’t let me miss this golden opportunity.  This leader is a wonderful person, caring, and passionate.  They weren’t being judgmental.  They were being called to grow.  Here is what I saw and heard as I asked questions and listened.  She spoke of how the other leaders didn’t seem to be giving their all to the ministry.  She sacrifices beyond her role at youth group, spends time with kids outside of church, listens and loves them deeply.  That level of care isn’t present in all of our leaders, of course.  Her heart is to see the ministry continue to reach and serve more and more kids and families, and is jealous for that to happen.

She needs to understand this passion is being faithful to what God is building in her.  God is calling her to step it up, and serve as a disciple maker in these adults lives.  Now understand, she has a wide variety of excuses as to why it won’t work: she can point to her past failures, mistakes, missed opportunities, selfish issues, and personality traits all as reasons God can’t use her.  It’s just like Moses standing before the burning bush, explaining to God why he can’t go because he’s a stuttering murderer.  God didn’t worry about it then, and He doesn’t now.  He only sees the potential, the beautiful hope of redemption.  That’s what is  going on here, with this leader.  He is calling her forward to the next step.  She has to come to peace with the idea that as she follows Jesus, He is actually changing her, growing her, maturing her.  It’s time.  It’s time to let Him use her in new ways, with new people, as she continues doing what she has been doing.  This is always such a tough transition for all of us.  We see ourselves as too young, too messed up, lacking experience that others have, not mature enough yet.  One day, we will be there, but not yet.  Then Jesus taps us on the shoulder, and full of love and grace, calls for us to step it up, that today is that day.  Every leader faces it, and every authentic leader struggles at some point with this call.

As a leader, are you tuned in for what God may really be doing?  If you’re not looking for it, you probably won’t see it.  I’m learning that making disciples among my adults often means I care about them way above and beyond their role in my little corner of ministry.  Are you watching for how God is working in your volunteers?  Are you fanning the flames in them that God has lit in them?

Even more importantly, is God calling you to step it up as a leader?  You may lead a children’s or youth ministry, but you are called to make disciples and be a pastor.  Are you really looking out for your volunteers, or merely training them to do the tasks of the ministry better?  Don’t be afraid to speak loving truth to your team.  YOU are called to be more than you are.  Accept that, and then be willing to call the same out of your leaders.

I’d love to hear your thoughts, stories, or questions!

Jesus’ Last Words and Sticky Faith Prayers

Sticky Faith Prayers

John 17 has Jesus’ last prayer on earth before the crucifixion.  It’s His “last words”, if you will, and I am always fascinated by it.  I’ve noted before how Jesus prays for the 11, talking about how they are the ones He was sent for, and how He delivered all of them to the end.  That amazes me, that Jesus grand plan was primarily for 11 people.  Not quite a mega-church model, in and of itself.

I’ve also written before about how Jesus prays for us, you and me, in the prayer.  He prays for us specifically, and that continues to break me down and remind me of how loved I am.  It was as I was reading that passage of the chapter today, that a new thought hit me.

Jesus says this:  ”20″My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message,21 that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me.”  Jesus prays for us, through the disciples.  What I mean is, Jesus prays for the ones He had taught, and then prays for the ones they would teach, generation after generation.

I do ok praying for my students and families.  But what about the people they will teach?  For some reason, it’s hitting me that I don’t pray for them.  My students will have varying level of “success” in growing in their faith.  I’m spending a lot of time right now in the Sticky Faith co-hort discussing it, thinking about it, planning for it, and re-working ministry for it.  But here, in John 17, Jesus prays a sticky prayer, if you will.  He prays for His students, and then prays for their students.  When I consider this, and apply it to my kids, it reminds me of the impact that God is planning down the road.  My investment isn’t just in them.  It’s in men and women I will never meet who they will impact.  It’s in future students who aren’t born yet, that one day my students will grow and pass their faith onto.  This is a side of Sticky Faith that I simply haven’t given much thought to.  I’ve given even less prayer to it.

But Jesus did.

At the end of His life, with the clock ticking, this is what He prays for.  He prays for those He loved and taught, and He prays for the ones they would one day love and teach.  And their spiritual grandchildren, great-grandchildren, all the way down to me.  And you.

It seems that this might be one of the most fundamental elements of Sticky Faith for us to engage in.  If Jesus knew its value, at this time and place, it’s surely worth our daily investment.

The only question is: will we?

How to Change Without Blowing Up Your Youth Ministry

Calvin and Hobbes Change

This fall, in our SrHi group, we are making some changes.  We’re moving away from group games, allowing students to choose to be in small groups or not, and basing our groups around curriculum instead of gender/ages.  Not sweeping changes, but change none the less.  Here are some of the steps we’ve taken to enter into this process:

1. Planning with key leaders – You hear this all the time in books and articles, but it can be a challenge to pull off well.  Who should we bring into the process?  I’ve learned to ask the people who really care, regardless of their position in the ministry.  I ask my volunteer leaders who care the most, I ask my older students who are invested in the ministry, I ask parents who are supportive and see the importance of youth group, and I ask other leaders outside my church who personally love youth ministry.  I don’t ask anyone who either doesn’t really care about the ministry, or who has little interest in strategic thought.  Some of my best leaders simply want to love kids, and don’t really care how we get it done.  I’ve learned not to burden them with the process.  So, I look at a person’s passion for the issue more than their position.

2. Promise Nothing – What I’ve learned over the years is to ask lots of questions, listen, take notes, and make no promises during this phase.  Too often, we want to encourage people, so we imply that their idea will be the one we use, and then they are disappointed later.  Listen a lot, promise nothing.  Give yourself time to sit down, and prayerfully take everyone’s ideas in.

3. Find the core values – As you have everyone give input, they will have a variety of ideas.  But what are the common values behind them.  Take everyone’s ideas, even if they seem far-fetched or impossible.  Then, later, look for the driving values behind the ideas.  Which core values are coming up over and over from different sources?  These are the values your new plan needs to address.

4. Look for the both/and – Too often, we can fall into an either/or mentality with these decisions.  Is there a way to take the core values you’ve found, and fit them all in?  It will probably mean the plan you would devise on your own may not come to fruition, but the plan you end up with will be more productive because if reflects the majority of the group, not just your values.

5. Explain it well – How you communicate the plan is crucial.  Roll it out to a few people at a time, with a clear plan on who hears about it when.  Ask for feedback.  Don’t be defensive.  The plan is not God’s inspired word, it’s just a program.  Hold it loosely, and listen to criticism.  Yes, you’ve invested hours in it, stressed about it, and thought it through.  But don’t be defensive when someone pokes holes in it.  Be gracious, and continue reworking it.  Then, choose who will hear it first, who will be second, etc.  Be intentional about the methods you use, and when (meetings, letters, social media, etc.)  Do NOT do an information blitz.  You will have too much explaining to do at once, and you will overload yourself.  Do it a little at a time, on a calendar, with a plan.  It’s much more manageable that way, and by the time you bring it to the largest group, you will have it even more fine tuned.

6. Have a plan for pushback – According to Dr. Scott Cormode of Fuller, people don’t fear change, they fear loss.  Your new plan means people will lose something.  Some of it will be actual loss, some of it will be perceived loss due to misunderstanding.  Identify ahead of time what the real loss is, and be ready to love people through it. Celebrate where things have been, what God has done, and how He has used those times and opportunities.  Don’t tear down the past to make the future look better.  Instead, link the new to the old, and show how it is a continuation of what God has been doing, show the core values still being honored, and encourage people about the coming days.  Be patient with those who are afraid.  They will make over the top statemnents (everyone is upset, no one likes the plan, etc.)  Gently ask for specifics, and share the stories of other people who are excited about the changes.  Invite the people who are afraid, into the process and offer them a voice.

7. See it through – Change will bring resistance.  We hate to see our kids or leaders upset.  Don’t back down just because people are struggling.  Be open to altering your plans, making corrections, improving along the way.  But overall, give the changes and the new plan time to take root.  Stay with it to see success.  We have committed the school year to our changes, at the very shortest.  We are not measuring how successful it is, until the end of the year.  We know it will take nine months to test our ideas, and see if they work or not.  So, we are committed to staying the course.

What would you add to this list?  What else have you learned?  I’d love to hear from you.

Pre-Release Review of Heath McNease’s “Weight of Glory”

Weight of Glory

Heath McNease is releasing an aggressively creative album tomorrow, and I’m not sure if I can recommend it enough!  Heath is an incredible musician, who is most often known for his freestyle rhymes and for goofy songs like “Nerd Out” and “Nintendo Thumb”.  But, if you’ve been to a show, or listened in on his most recent releases, you know he has broadened his flow to more melodic sounds, acoustic riffs, and even playing a beat box uke.  So, when he announced his next album was going to be based on the works of C.S. Lewis, I was pretty excited.  I would usually assume a musician would simply be trying to leverage the popularity of Lewis’ work for their own gain.  With Heath, you have an artist who I’m sure has lost some sleep from being worried about the lyrical strength and purity of the reflection of Lewis he’s offering.

In a nutshell, Heath nailed it.  I knew he would do well, but the album is a shocker.  He simultaneously grabs the essence of Lewis’ books with his lyrics, and finds a way to put the spirit and feel of each book into musical textures.  I’m really amazed at the diversity and depth Heath offers.

If you’ve never read Clive Staples Lewis’ writings, you’ll still love the album.  But, if you’ve read any of them, you’ll be amazed at this album.  Heath takes on the writings found in

  • Chronicles of Narnia
  • The Four Loves
  • The Great Divorce (my personal favorite book and song)
  • A Grief Observed
  • Mere Christianity
  • Perelandra (part of Lewis’ space trilogy)
  • The Problem of Pain
  • The Screwtape Letters (every Christian should read this one)
  • Surprised by Joy
  • Till We Have Faces
  • Weight of Glory
  • The World’s Last Night

So, here are my encouragements for you:

  1. Tomorrow, download the album, and pay for it.  Heath is legit, and the money is well earned.
  2. Spread the word.  Tell everyone about this album, and encourage them to download it.
  3. Read the books.  Heath pulls off an amazing task of capturing the feeling of an entire book in each song.  You need to read the books.
  4. Pray for Heath.  He is the real deal, a follower of Jesus who happens to be an amazing musician.  God is using him.

I’d love to hear your thoughts after you’ve downloaded the album.  You won’t be disappointed.

 

 

Andy Leaves Woody, and It Always Makes Me Cry

Andy Toy Story 3

It is the middle of August, and that means it’s time for one of my least favorite rituals as a youth pastor.  In the next two weeks, a wide majority of my recent high school graduates are going to be leaving for college.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I am SO excited for them.  I love college, the growth and learning, the moving to a life that is independent.  I do worry about many of them, but even in that, I know that God is good and strong, and we have tried to stand by their parents over the last seven years and shown them how to follow Jesus.  That isn’t necessarily why this two-week window is so hard.  I just miss them.  I’ve been through this season of goodbyes over 20 times now in the last couple of decades, but yet, it never gets any easier.  At all.  I have faith, I know a new school year is starting full of stories and excitement and opportunities to pour into students and families lives.  I LOVE that!  Yet, I still am sad to see this class go on.

Last night, one of our middle school leaders was the first to say goodbye.  She has to be at Purdue on Sunday.  My long time friend and co-worker in the ministry this summer is heading back to his junior year at Liberty this Sunday as well.  With those two goodbyes, I begin the process of saying goodbye, giving hugs, watching the tears, praying with them, and missing them.

It’s just one of the little, often unseen wounds that we carry as youth pastors.  No one else sees it or knows it.  We definitely don’t have conferences on it, or seminary classes about it.  It’s just one of the small prices of caring, of loving kids, of pouring ourselves into them and hoping in the face of sometimes incredible odds that they will make it.  Then they do, and they have to leave, to move on to the next phase Jesus has for them.

So, to all of my fellow youth pastors out there, know that as you cry a little, or may be a little melancholy over the next two weeks, it’s ok.  You’re not alone by any stretch, and those of us out here do understand.  You’ve done your job well, you have been the hands, feet, words, and heart of Jesus.  He will never drop you, even now.  Thank you for loving students until it hurts.  I, personally, am proud of you.

- Jason

 

If you want to know how to help prepare these students BEFORE you have to say goodbye, I am learning a ton from the folks at Fuller Youth Institute and their Sticky Faith work.  It really is worth checking out.

Students/Pastors

Sticky Faith Cover

As we have read through Sticky Faith, one issue has risen to the surface for both Evan, our children’s pastor, and for me.  We recognize how crucial it is for students to be actively serving in strategic roles in our children’s ministry.  As we’ve prayed, reviewed, studied, and discussed the whole idea, we’ve hit on some core values we are working hard to make standard in our ministries.

1. Students are not babysitters – We both recognize that for students to pour deeply into the children’s ministry, they have to be given roles beyond passing out crayons.  Obviously, serving humbly in any setting is a hallmark of following Jesus.  But when there are responsibilities greater than the base level, students need to be given a chance to take those on along with adults.

2. Students need training – Evan has done an amazing job of working with our students who have come into his ministry to provide formal and on the job training.  He meets with them regularly and offers them specialized training and mentoring.  This is a big step for a children’s pastor to take, but it pays off.

3. Students can mentor children in unique ways.  – No one is cooler to an elementary student than a caring, listening middle school or high school student.  They can have an impact and model a Christ-centered lifestyle for children in unique and powerful ways.

4. Students create a system of high expectations – In our system, 11th and 12th grade students serve as leaders in middle school.  The 8th, 9th, and 10th graders can serve in our older elementary programs.  Our 6th and 7th graders serve in the younger elementary and preschool programs.  As we place students carefully, train and mentor them, and give them strategic roles, it does something very special.  Kids in our church grow up assuming it is completely normal and expected that they will mentor younger kids.  When we discuss making disciples, a system exists in which they have experienced it, and look forward to getting old enough to be a part of it themselves.  They have seen great things from other students, and have high expectations of themselves as they grow.

5. It creates Sticky Faith – When you read the book and the research, you quickly find that having students engaged with other believers of different ages, and having students regularly serving are two of the highest indicators of a student developing sticky faith.  By having our students partner with other adults in the children’s ministry, we hit both of those goals in one shot.  And, more importantly, we have seen it work in student’s lives when they move on from our church.  It actually works.

Now, clearly, there are obstacles, or else there would be no need for me to write this post because everyone would already be doing what we are doing.  Here are a few of them, and how we are working to answer them.

 

1. Not all students are ready – Nope.  They aren’t.  But this is only about helping develop students who want to grow.  We don’t just plug a student in because they say they want to.  They have to show a level of commitment and maturity for their age.  We say no to students, and do it often.

2. Not all adults are ready – Nope.  They aren’t.  Not every adult is ready to let a student take on key roles in “their” classroom, nor are they all able to effectively work with students.  That’s why they are in the children’s ministry.  Evan has to work to choose wisely the adults to partner students with, and then coach both sides to help them with the transition.

3. Students may blow it spiritually – Yep.  There’s no maybe to it.  The adults will too.  But we aren’t looking for people to act falsely perfect in our ministries.  When they blow it, we step in and help them.  You may have to help a student take a break while they re-align their lives.  But if you prayerfully choose well, and lovingly mentor these students, it’s a small minority of the time.

4. Students are flaky and won’t show up – Yep, sometimes.  That’s part of the mentoring process.  Evan and I work hard to remember that our volunteers aren’t there to make our jobs easier.  They are there so we can pastor them, mentor them, and train them for the works of service Jesus has planned for them.  This means teaching volunteers of all ages why their commitment matters.

There are other issues that we can come with, but I trust that you get the idea.  We don’t take students on because it’s the easiest way.  We do it because it matters:  it matters to the ministry, it matters to the children being loved and mentored, it matters to the adult volunteers who get to see God work through students, it matters to the families blessed, it matters to the Kingdom, and it matters to the students who develop sticky faith.  I would absolutely LOVE to hear your ideas, concepts, stories, etc. of using students as pastors.  Feel free to comment below.

How Sticky Faith is Changing Our Sunday Services

Sticky Faith Cover

Our student ministry is trying to figure out how to implement what we’ve been learning from Sticky Faith, and we’re making some subtle changes this year.  We are realizing that our main worship services on Sunday morning need some tweaking.  We have what many people would call a “contemporary” worship style, and very practical sermons based strongly on Scripture.  Because of this, our services are not “hostile” to students by any means.  The issue we are evaluating is that our services are not inclusive either.  Students rarely, if ever, help in planning or participating in the services.  Sermon series rarely take students into account, and the teaching staff isn’t actively encouraged to consider students when writing sermons.  The worship team doesn’t have a mandate to think of students when building the music and arts part of the morning either.

Now, don’t misunderstand; we are not calling for a wholesale change, or for Sundays to be focused on our students.  That would not be any more helpful than our current program.  Our students don’t need to “take over” the main services, or to become the “focus group” for the morning.  We simply want to create paths for them to take ownership alongside of our existing teams, and for our adults to see the students as partners in their ministries.  We are working to find ways to incorporate students into all of our arts teams as participants, and hope to find a few key students to assist in the planning ministry for our Sunday services.  We are beginning ongoing conversations with our senior pastor and worship pastor about how to give examples in their messages that are inclusive of students.  Our student ministry is going to begin promoting our Sunday service regularly to our groups, and encouraging them to attend and get involved.  As we communicate with parents, we are beginning to help them understand the vital importance for their students to be in the main services with them, and how to engage them afterwards.

None of this is groundbreaking, by any means.  But, as we have come to understand the incredible impact it has on student’s ability to hold on to their faith and church involvement beyond high school, it is vital.  We are only in the beginning stages, but we have great hopes to set measurable, attainable goal with our adult teams, and see what God might do over the coming year.

Redefining the Rule Book

 

Youth led ministry is a discussion that brings a ton of emotion to the surface.  Everyone has thoughts on it, and what variety of it should be practiced.  Tash McGill wrote a great article for Immerse Journal on her experiences as a leader.  I wrote a response for it as well.  I’d love for you to read both, and weigh in.

You can find them here
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